My husband is one of the smartest, strongest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met. He constantly encourages me to go for my dreams and my passions. He is a voice of reason when I am taking on too many things, or get overwhelmed. We laugh together, read together, parent together. We don’t share a faith, but we do share political views. He is a neat person, I am messy. He’s good with money, I...go to Target. He likes coffee, I like tea (I know. That last one’s a dealbreaker.).
Love is growing, changing, and evolving.
At the beginning of our relationship, our sex life was spontaneous. It was experimental. It was frequent. Gradually, my past trauma and painful physical conditions caught up to me. I withdrew, physically and emotionally. He felt rejected and confused.
Love is choosing, struggling, and fighting for itself.
It’s taken countless discussions, arguments, tears, and therapy. Our sex life today doesn’t look like it did at first. We schedule times for sexual activity. We also communicate better than we did before. We’ve redefined what sex actually is, more than just one body part in another body part. Sex is intentional time for pleasure and connection with each other. It’s a slowly evolving thing. It’s not perfect. It’s not even where we hope it will eventually be. But it’s ours.
And it’s love.
Join Lydia & Jared for a live stream at live.o.school on Pain, Pleasure, & Partnership: Partners of Survivors. They'll share tips on how they navigate their relationship in the face of the trauma and pain Lydia has experienced.